And my hands are cold again.

I have always been the one with reaaaaaaaally warm hands. Like, they're always warm, 

even when I'm in a really cold room, even when my body is feeling cold,
my hands though are still warm.
Even at the cinema, whenever my friends are cold, they'll be holding my hands.

And that's the only time I'll lend my warm hands to anyone. Only at the cinema.

Okay, so the thing is.. I'm kinda confused.

Is it only me (if it is, i am fucking weird), or there are others having the same thing?

Like, I know my hands are always warm even when my feet are so cold. 

But there are times when my hands will start to feel cold. 

Like when I'm feeling nervous, or really mad, or really.. sad.

And honestly I hate it.

Because whenever I'm feeling blue, or I'm reaaaally mad, I always convince myself that I'm okay. 

That I'm not even sad or mad. That I'm just confused. That its all just mixed feelings.

But my hands tell me the other way.. 

As if, my hands keep reminding me about the feeling I don't even want to feel.

And whenever I'm feeling like the walls are breaking down, 

I keep being deniable about the ache I'm feeling. 

But my cold hands make me realize that I'm not okay.

And that's when... Nvm.

But I hate the fact that I can lie to others about my feelings,
and I'm so good at pretending that I'm okay,

but I can't even lie to myself,

And that makes me even sad.. And all I want was just to be happy.

But my hands always tell me otherwise..

And.. I think I should cut off my hands. Lmao.
But I can't.. because I like the fact that my hands always keep my loved ones warm c:

Xx